Just thinkin about you today  / Nikki Mashburn (Friend from church/school )
I miss you so much and think about you all the time. Love u always.. Nikki Close

MIssing you every day  / Mom

Hey my Handsome,

It's 3 years today and the pain is still so great.  I miss your infectious smile and those beautiful eyes. I miss waking you in the mornings and we both know that was a BIG JOB! I miss your mischievous ways, calling from your bedroom (on your cell) asking me to make you a double decker sandwich, chips, coke and bring it to you.  I remember you peeking out of your room grinning from ear to ear. I miss you sitting in the recliner playing a video game all day if necessary to beat it.  I remember picking you up from wrestling practice and asking you to roll the window down so I could breath.  I would love to smell that again.  I know that sound crazy but you know how we Mom's are.  I miss you guys playing on the trampoline..rememeber putting it in the livingroom.  I bet the look on my face was priceless.  I miss you coming home and shouting to the top of you lungs "Mom I'm home". It's the little things in life we all take for granted that I miss the most. You winning Area Champion was probably the proudest moment of your life, for me I was proud every day to be your mom, just extra proud that day.  Getting to share the 19 short years with you I wouldn't take anything in the world for that, you brought me a great deal of joy. Your brothers miss you so much, thanks for looking after them.  Be with us all today, keep us strong and safe. I love you more than words can say, I miss you each and every day.

I love you

~Mom~

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BJ YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE MY HEART  / CALVIN FLORES (ADOBTED FATHER )
HEY BJ I WAS JUST TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER ON THE PHONE,SHE IS NOT FEELING TO GOOD TODAY. YOUR MOM IS DOING WELL AND YOU NEED NOT WORRIE ABOUT HER GARY IS RIGHT BY HER SIDE. YOUR MOM SHOWED ME YOUR WEB SITE YESTERDAY AND I GOT TO ENJOY ALL OF YOUR PHOTOS AND READ ALL OF THE GREAT THINGS PEOPLE HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT YOU.I AM WORKING WITH A NEW COMPANY AND SO FAR ITS A LITTLE SLOW BUT YOUR MOM IS STARTING TO WORK WITH ME SO I THINK THINGS WILL PICK UP IM SURE YOU CAN HELP US IN THAT AERA. I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW  THAT JORDAN WAS HIRED AS A FULL TIME YOUTH PASTOR AT THE VERY CHURCH THAT YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER AND BROTHERS ACCEPTED CHRIST. DID ANYBODY TELL YOU THAT THEIR WERE OVER 60 PEOPLE THAT ACCEPTED CHRIST BECAUSE OF YOU. I AM SURE YOU GOT REWARDED WELL FOR THAT ONE IN HEAVEN. DID YOU KNOW JORDAN TEACHES HIS KIDS OUT OF YOUR BIBLE? WE MISS YOU BJ AND YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE MY THOUGHTS AND HEART. P.S. WOULD YOU DROP IN ON JORDAN ONCE IN A WHILE HE REALLY MISSES YOU WE LOVE YOU BJ AND MISS YOU SOMETHING TERRIBLE.
COME SEE ME SOME TIME IN MY DREAMS.
CALVY Close

bj was the only one to help me when my parents left  / JOEY ARTLEY (FRIEND)
bj was subborn, but when it came down to it, he was the kindest friend i knew. he was the only person to tell me to ask him if i ever needed anyone to talk to to come to him when my parents were going through a divorce. he was a person i looked up to and even when i was upset about somthing else he would ask me if i was ok onstead of just doppin me off at my house, i love you bj i miss you and wish you were here.
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Memories that will never be forgotten!!!  / Michael Kougioulis (Close Friend/Brother )

Blake was my best friends brother.  I have known him and his family for as long as i can remember.  I grew up with his family.  This is prolly one of the hardest things i have had to go through.  Blake was like a big brother to me.  He always watched out for me and always tried to make me a better person.  He got me into wrestling and got me going down the "right path"  Blake tought me everything i know about wrestling and i thank him for that. Matt, Blake, Jason, and Momma J, are like my second family.  Sometimes i would spend days or even weeks at that house without going home.  They took me in as one of their own and i will never forget it.  I will always love him, just like a brother.  He was my best friend's brother, as well as mine. Blake was not only that, he was a very close friend of mine.  I could talk to him about anything and everything without feeling as if i was being criticized or judged. We had some crazy memories together.  For example, one of my favorites was when Me, Matt, Blake, and Shane, had a huge sword fight with his old monkey bars.  We used to go on crazy adventures in the woods and walk for miles and miles untill we were lost.  Id have to say that one of my favorite memories about Blake was when we put the trampoline in his livingroom.  Right when Momma J walked out of the door to go to Nannys, we took pictures of everything with my digital camara just so we knew we would put it back in the right place.  It took about an hour or so but we got that trampoline in there and we had a blast.  So all in all, i love you blake. I miss you so much.  I think about you every single day and just try and understand why it all happend.  You are in such a better place right now and i know you are happy.  You have watched over us for the past year and i know you will continue.  I love you man.  Ill see you soon bro.
                                  Love always,

                                              FATZ

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angel in a picture  
When I look at a picture of you it seems different. I know you were here and I could talk to you, even touch you but when I see pictures I see this angel, this perfect person who is so very far away. It’s like you’re not real almost. I forget sometimes that your life isn’t just frozen in those pictures. I forget that right before the picture was taken we were laughing together and right after that picture was taken you were holding me. It’s harder to look at that picture and remember so most of the time I just keep it frozen there. I look at it and see myself next to an angel and I look away because if I look at it and see myself next to you, I remember the laughing and the hugs and it hurts so deeply. I still go to call you when I get upset. I find your name in my phone and I remember, so I pray and I hope you’re listening because you’re still the only one I want to talk to. I beg you sometimes to come back, isn’t that silly. You brought me up from such a low point and when I get that low I need you and I’m so angry because you’re supposed to be here. Those pictures on my wall are supposed to be a piece of a long story, not the end. Then I realize you are still here. Sometimes I see you, and if I close my eyes and listen closely I can hear your voice. You left me with so much and you will always be with me. I would be so lost without you. Yes, you're still with me but I can’t wait for the day that I get to reach out and touch your hand, and look into your eyes; I can’t wait for you to hold me again. Close

To you Blaker, I miss you bunches.  / Mom
If tears could build a stairway, 
and memories a lane. 
I would walk right up to heaven 
and bring you back again. 

No farewell words were spoken.
No time to say "Goodbye." 
You were gone before I knew it, 
and only God knows why. 

My heart still aches with sadness, 
and secret tears still flow. 
What it meant to love you--
No one can ever know. 

But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no more; 
To remember all the happy times
life still has much in store 

Since you'll never be forgotten. 
I pledge to you today-
A hollowed place within my heart 
is where you'll always stay.
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he is a gentleman  / Joey Artley (friend)
bj was the first person to ask me if i ever needed to talk to anyone when my parents got divorced. one of two people. bj stayed up with a washcloth and sat beside when i was sick one night. bj was the funniest, most origional, friend ive had and wish i couldve had more memories with.
i love you bj
joey Close

Heaven's gates are just too far  

They tell me that one day

the tears will fade away,

they tell me to hold on

God will help me find my way,

 

They say it’s not my fault

that I have to let it go,

They tell me there’s no answer

For the questions that I hold

 

They tell me you’re in heaven

And you’re happy and you’re free

they tell me it’s better there

But it’s all so hard to believe

 

Cause every day’s a struggle

And the tears may fade away

but inside I’m still crying

every time I hear your name

 

Cause your fingers are slowly slipping

And sometimes it’s so hard

But I can’t let you go

Heaven’s gates are just too far

 

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And God Said......  / Diane Angel Mom- Katie Cassidy
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Jacket / I. Love You

She fell to the floor

And wanted to die

And no one had the answers

As she begged to know why

 

Her tears fell hard

And outlined his name

Sewn in that letterman jacket

That he’d never reclaim

 

She closed her eyes tight

And softly touched her lips

And tried so hard to savor

The feel of that final kiss

 

Then the tears fell strong

And outlined his name

Sewn in that jacket

That he’d never wear again

 

She stood there for hours

And gently traced each patch

And her heart slowly stopped

‘cause she knew he wasn’t coming back

 

Then the tears fell fast

And outlined his name

Sewn in that jacket

That would never be the same

 

She imagines what might have been

And knows he’d still be alive

If someone would have just decided

That it was wrong to drink and drive


but the tears will fall forever

and outline that sweet name

sewn in that jacket

that time will slowly fade

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I am  / Heaven And Earth

From heaven, to earth

I am an angel in heaven
I wonder why everyone is so sad
I hear my mother crying
I see my brothers struggling
I want the tears to stop
I am an angle in heaven

I pretend you’re up here with me
I feel God’s hands around me
I touch my soft, white wings
I worry I’ll never see you smile
I cry for the ones I left behind
I am an angel in heaven

I understand because I miss you too
I say “I love you”
I dream you hear my words
I try to reach down and touch you
I hope you feel me today
I am an angel in heaven

From earth, to heaven

I am missing you so much
I wonder if you can see me
I hear you when I’m sad
I see you in my dreams
I want just one more day
I am missing you so much

I pretend you’re right here with me
I feel your arms around me
I touch your beautiful face 
I worry I wont make it without you
I cry because I have to pretend
I am missing you so much

I understand God has a reason
I say I’ll see you again
I dream of that one sweet day
I try to smile for you
I hope you know how much I love you
I am missing you so much

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I love ya!!!  / Sammy

Wish you were here to spend V-day with me! Close

Valentine / Debbie Wengert (Kevin's Mom )
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tomorrow 
I didn't say bye
'cause I'd see you tomorrow

I didn't stay late
'cause there's always tomorrow

I didn't stop by
'cause there's more time tomorrow

I didnt hold you long
'cause I'll need it more tomorrow

I didn't say thank you
'cause you'd help me more tomorrow

I didn't savor today
'cause I know I'd have tomorrow

I didn't say bye
and now there's no tomorrow Close

For you, mama  / Sammy
http://rockmyspace.com/apps/rockmyspace.swf?instanceid=5578251
Click here to watch a slide show I made! I love ya
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Matthew 
Hey there,
   Just wanted to let you know you mean a lot to me. You remind me so much of your brother. Sitting there on the floor with you brought a lot of memories back. Whenever I got real upset like that I always came to BJ and, like you, he always knew just what to do. That's an incredible gift and I never thought I'd be blessed to meet another someone who holds it. I've been pretty lost lately because I don't know who to call when I get upset like that. Thank you for being you. I'll never feel so alone again. I bet you never thought a sister could be so much work. I love you so very much and I can't wait to come home again. See you in a month kid.
ps. if you ever need a night locked in a bathroom, call me first ok? love you Close

Happy New Year  / Debbie Wengert (Grieving Mom )
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Passing By  / Debbie Wengert (Kevin's Mom )
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Christmas Is Over  / Melissa Smith (grieving Mom) (none)

Christmas is over...

The New Year's almost here.

The tree lights are darkened...

I sure do miss you, dear.

The stockings are empty,

And so is my aching heart;

Yet, I need to tell you

Before the New Year's start.

I'll always love you.

You're always in my prayers.

If ever you need me,

My thoughts will be right there.

Although there is distance

Between us, I can smile;

Because I can hold you

In my heart, for just awhile.

I realize God gave me

This gift... I know it's true.

The gift that He gave me

Is all my love for you.

I don't know the reason

God gives and takes away.

I just know, this season

I turn to Him and pray.

"Bless all my loved ones...

The ones for whom I care.

Keep them in safety,

Until I can be there."

I know that God loves me,

And, so, He loves you too.

And, so, in His season,

I send my faith to you.

"Many of us, between the start of this holy season,

and the end, find ourselves filled with sadness,

missing the ones who cannot be with us.

We all have our list of bittersweet memories,

and the hardest day is the day after all the festivities,

when we realize how much we missed the missing.

To them, I dedicate this poem."

http://blakemoore.memory-of.com

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